Tis the Season

I'm always pretty introspective  this time of year. It's the holiday season. Coco's birthday kicks it off.  Hubs and I remember  our first  date. My birthday falls a couple of days before the finale. We finish everything off with the new year. 

So between the regular festivities, there is the celebrations of us. Our family. 

That's what this blog has been about. Our family. 

It started out as my take on the boat life. But now it's just our life. Very cliche. But also very real. 

We aren't  living the boat life now. We are just living. We are finding our way. Struggling, surviving our choices, looking ahead to what is next, grateful for the opportunity that hard work has allowed us, and putting what we have out into the universe hoping that we get it right, that we get an experience worth remembering and holding on to. 

I put it all (well most) of it out there because that's who I am. I share. I learn from it.  I could keep it close and not put it out in cyberspace, but, for me, there is an accountability and responsibility to the reality of adventure I want to participate in. 

This world of blogs, and social media is connecting if we let it be. It's is also cruel. People can hide behind anonymity and be hurtful for spite or jealousy. They can project their insecurities. 

The trick is to not get lost in what other people say~ be it to your face or behind an anonymous screen name. 

So, this year, I'm going to look back on how I/we got here. How my family went from boat life to just life and how amazing that we have the choice to do that. I'm going to recognize the compromises we make to live a life that is full,  but challenging, and completely ours. 

From Sea to Land

Now that we are settling in to this RV thing, I suppose I should explain why the quick change. 

First, I want to preface by saying that our boat was/ is solid.  Our decisions had nothing to do with the strength and integrity of our Prout, aka s/v Airabess. 

Our 'plan' was to cruise the Bahamas and make our way via Puerto Rico to the Virgin Islands.  That is what we have been working towards for the last seven years.

We crossed the gulf stream from Key Largo and checked in in Bimini.  We got stuck in Bimini for almost three weeks, after making several attempts to get across the Bahamas Banks.  This is not unheard of for cruisers.  In fact it happens all the time.  We were being impatient, but it was more than that. 

We were realizing that the Prout was not the boat for our family.  It was perfect for small day sails around the Keys, but once we got her out into deep water, it became clear that it wasn't working for us. 

Hubs is 6 foot 3, Coco is four foot seven and growing like a weed, I'm only 5'2.  But add all of us together, plus a dog.... we were getting super cramped.  We were not handling the passages very well, nor the waiting to make passage. 

That, and it just didn't feel right.  Hubs and I were constantly second guessing ourselves.  Did we read the weather patterns wrong, should we have taken the window early, did we take the wrong window. etc...? 

There was also the feeling of complete vulnerability.  You are at the mercy of the ocean and wind.  If you make the wrong decisions it could end horribly, or you could make it back to port with a great story.  The anxiety of miscalculations and over thinking and down right fear was getting to be too much. 

I will admit that I don't know that I am made of the right kind of stuff to be a blue water cruiser.  Not that we had planned on that anyway.  But there is no way to get to the island hopping that is in the brochure unless you traverse the deep blue. 

So, we had to make a choice.  Did we keep heading southeast towards the USVI, or do we turn back.  It took those three weeks in Bimini for Hubs and I to finally speak what the other was thinking.... we didn't want to do it anymore. 

I was suffocating on the boat.  The images of snorkeling off the back of Airabess in crystal clear water, laughing and playing on deserted beaches was not enough of a lure anymore. 
I missed fresh food and having a door to my bedroom. I hated being at the mercy of the weather~ to go, to stop, to choose what's next... I was humbled and humiliated by the whole experience.  

The joy that we had been working towards was still so very far away.  I didn't want to wait and work for it anymore.  Neither did Hubs.  Coco, well, she wanted to keep going, but only because that is what we had been promising her for years and years (um, yeah, no guilt there).

Hubs and I wanted freedom.  We thought that living on a boat and cruising would give us that.  In reality, we felt tied down by the weather and sea sickness (Coco, Ms Willow, and occasionally me when it was necessary for me to go down below)

We headed back.  We put Airabess up for sale and started looking at rvs because we realized we weren't throwing in the towel completely.  We just needed to change our vehicle to freedom and adventure.

There was a ton of interest in the boat, as we had it priced to sell and it was sold within a week and a half of our return to Marathon.  That meant it was crunch time to find a new 'home'.  Fortunatly, we did find one quickly.

So, less than a month after we set sail, we are on the road.  Admittedly the gas thing is a serious concern of mine. It is so completely not me or us.  After getting our carbon footprint so low living aboard to then pull up to a gas station as frequently as this rv traveling warrants.... it's hard to swallow.  The next adventure is going  to counter that.

Already we are feeling a little more in control and a lot more adventure.  We are going and doing and seeing.  We are showing our girl the world.  We are living a life extraordinary.

I hope that any readers that are out there still want to follow this family's journey to the elusive there even though we are traveling in a different way.  We are still Airabess. We are still dreaming.   #findingmywaylivingthisdream     

On the Road

I'm still not ready to write down the why's of why we sold S/V Airabess. 

To say its personal would be an understatement. But I DO want to share. I think it's important. I know I want to. It's just that I'm not quite ready for that yet. I'm still processing. 

I am super excited about this next adventure though. 

 

Road trippen. 

It's funny. All those years ago, after we had bought the boat, we were already looking ahead at this next adventure.  The transition was easy. 

We had no idea that it would be so fast. (I think I might have whiplash). 

And tomorrow it begins. 

Crazy. 

We Sold Our Boat

Part of me thinks we will change our minds. The other part of me knows.  

Hubs and and I are absolute about things. Big things. Huge decisions. 

Sometimes I think we make the huge life decisions on a whim and then run Head first all the way towards those decisions. 

Years and years worth of effort.

Then we change our minds. 

The thing is... We always decide together. 

We talk IT TO DEATH.  We rationalize every single senerio. We work. We plan. We hypothesize. We ratonlize. 

And we are at that point, place, time again. 

It's terrifying and at the same time a huge weight is lifted. 

We have a different direction. 

It feels so good. It feels right.  

But after years of this... This boatlife... This kind of promise, it's like the dream we were dreaming isn't valid. 

But it is. Because we have always been dreaming. We have been doing. We have been living a beautiful life of hope and future and love. 

We've just realized what freedom means for us.

And there is no point in prolonging a life that isn't ours. It's time to claim the life that is for us. 

That's one of the reasons we are moving on and heading back. 

So to all of the naysayers and... I told you so's... GUESS WHAT!? 

We are still living the dream. Still on our own terms. Still with hope and love and optimism. 

It's hard to swallow some of the bumps along the way. It doesn't matter though. 

What matters is what's right for our family in this place and in this time. 

Very long story short (the ways, hows and whys are for another post), we sold our boat. 

Yep.  You read that right. 

We bought an rv and are now taking this adventure on the road. 

Airabess is our family mantra. It was coined by our Coco. 

 It's our way of life.

Airabess isn't (wasn't) just our boats name~ it's us. It's our freedom, as a family, to want and to be who we are. 

With no regrets. 

Quick turn around, right.  Yeah... We don't do anything by halves.