SURREAL, to say the least.
You talk about something for so long, you plan, you make the decisions to get to that goal... and then it's right in front of you . It's kind of hard to wrap my brain around it.
I have been having trouble sleeping. I'm sure it has everything to do with the anxiety that comes with this change. The whole family is a little on edge (even Ms Willow). There have been quite a few what the hell are we doing's happening around here. Not that we have any regrets. It's just overwhelming, and a little sad too.
I went to a friend's house to drop some things off yesterday and when I pulled out of their driveway it hit me that I wouldn't be going back for at least a year (if all goes as planned).
I hugged my very best friend good-bye a couple of weeks ago (she lives in New York and we only get to see each other a few times a year) and I was balling the whole way home. I don't see her often enough, but I always knew that I would get to see her smiling face every few months, but not this next year.
We have no idea where we will end up. We don't know if we will come back to our hometown, or set up shop somewhere else. We might cash in and buy a bigger boat in a year. We might find a new place to call home. There are thoughts and pipe dreams of maybe here or there... but anything is possible. It is the first time we have not had a solid 5 year plan. The very first time since Hubs and I have been together, 14 years, that we don't really know what direction we are headed in. We have a loose sailing plan, which could change based on any number of things we can and can't control.
Our planning and saving and dreaming have brought us here, to this moment, and I don't know what is going to happen next. It is so awesome and so daunting at the same time.
Regardless, the time is upon us. It's time to start living.
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